It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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