How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
