I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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