its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
