We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
