maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
