If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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