She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
