i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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