Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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