My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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