Already got asked if we're dating
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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