Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
