Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
