FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
