just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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