Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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