Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
His hands were made for my vagina.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
