We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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