if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
