Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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