I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
