Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
