I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We're too hungover to prance.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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