So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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