I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
