Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Randomize
