Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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