You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Sober January is a disaster.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
