I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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