Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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