Your tits are I can't wait for
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
