I can text with my tongue
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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