His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it glows. i had to have it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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