im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
