Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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