I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
