Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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