dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
