This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize