Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
