Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I am one with the molecules
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
