You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he fucked my hip out of place.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
