Just fell off a train. Bad.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
