I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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