My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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