my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
