Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
