problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
