My brain says no but my pants say off.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
