im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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