He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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