i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
