The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize