it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
