Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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