Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
