If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just pee around me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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