Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
