Just mADE A PArabola og urine
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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