Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
